Gadzo – War Dance. – Fighting back. – Chapter Seven – To Dance with Ugly People.
I raised two sons. My oldest, born of my first marriage, was part of a broken home at 9 months. The youngest, born of my second marriage, was part of a broken home at 10 years old. Neither father cared to pay Child Support nor become a positive presence in their son’s life.
I was both Mother and Father. War Dance – Yes! It is painfully hard to raise children alone especially when you care so much and want to do it right. You have to go to war with society, with your fears and with the children themselves. Not always their fault, lacking that male role model, but I always had that, “Boy, I will climb up in a chair, if I have to, to reach you and slap you DOWN!” – Mentality.
Fighting back – You better believe it! Everything is against you, being a mere woman in this alleged man’s world. You fight in the workplace, fight with repair men, fight the letches off, fight with your kids, fight to further your education and fight to get those bills paid. Everyone forgets you are human, too. Everyone seems to forget your fight, except you. I still wear the scars of battle.
And them, God sent me Kalen. The Lord is trusting me with another little male soul – My Grandson. I brought him home from the hospital and have raised him ever since. I thought of him while writing Chapter Seven of “To Dance with Ugly People.” Have you a child in your life you’d literally “Kill” for to keep him or her safe? Sure, this is the same emotion I felt raising both of my sons. I was hell on wheels if you crossed one of them in the wrong way!
But, what makes raising Kalen different? I am here with him. I am retired. I have watched every moment of his life. I have been a part of every “first.” He is by my side, my constant companion and comfort. He is Eight now and he calls me, “Mama.” It never gets old. Kalen love Lego’s, Stuffed Animals and Trucks. His imagination is wild: His vocabulary excellent, yet Dyslexic – He struggles to read. He and his stock of action figures and stuffed animals have parades, parties, go to War, fly to the moon, have shoot outs and travel back in time. It gets noisy! There are no video games in the house and the television he watches is monitored,
I missed the “firsts” with my children. I missed any real play time they had. I worked so hard getting as much overtime as possible, often two jobs. Coming home meant homework, laundry, cooking dinner, discipline, solving problems and sheer exhaustion. Weekends where cleaning the house, catching up on laundry, grocery shopping, shopping and car maintenance or repairs and more. Yes, there were baseball with the youngest, Chess Club with the oldest, etc. and squeezing in the movies every chance I got. But, mostly, I took ½ vacation day once a month and had “A Date,” with each of my son’s alternately, so they had time alone with ME.
God Bless you, Single Mom’s, buy my book and share in the world of Dani Ransom – To Dance with Ugly People!
– Lorene Stunson Hill –